My youngest bro is way good at airsoft. I was reminded of this several days ago when he (9 years younger than me) repeatedly hit my all over my head and face or on my hands, the only things sticking out beyond whatever cover I was hiding behind.
Honestly, my first reaction is anger, partly because of the brief pain, mostly because of disappointment. Then sadness, for I realize my anger is a result of feeling less-than-the-best.
Success is addicting. I often don't care that much about winning a game of ultimate or soccer, but I do care strongly about playing well. Of course, I define for myself what 'playing well' means by comparing it to my past performance and the performance of those around me. If I do poorly I usually leave depressed and frustrated.
Valuing excellence is ok. Trying hard is important. But ought I to be disappointed or angry at myself if I have done my best, even if my best isn't all that great? No.
As I grow older I'm realizing I'm not going to be wonderful at everything I try. Believe it or not, I used to think that I could be amazing at just about anything I tried (with the exception of things like ballet or golf, because of course those are sissy sports ; ) I'm becoming aware that I will not be that great at everything I do, and that is ok. If someone gets the ball or Frisbee despite my amazing defense, I'm no less of a person. If my younger brother makes freak shot after freak shot and I get welts on my face and hands, despite the fact that I'm a good shot and just took a handgun course (!), it's all right. I just have to remember not to get in a real-life shootout with him.
Thanks Joe Cool for creating a learning environment for me. And for the welts.
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1 comment:
This is why I have never played airsoft with either of you. I don't need that lesson and I don't need the welts either.
Dad
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